Friday, October 30, 2009

I'm really not a copycat...

I just realized within the last few days that Fran Drescher has a book AND a website "Cancer Schmancer." Now I feel like a goober. Though I guess great minds think alike. I'm just a little slower on the uptake.

So- What I thought was original and witty just loks like a cheap knock-off. Oh Well.

Think I'll pick up the book. :P

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sorry it's been a while.....

I've been crazy busy and my mind is a blur most days. It actually is today- yet I blog on. So please excuse me if I come off a little dumb. The first few days after chemo suck the most. The "sick" is tolerable for a while then it kinda breaks you down after a while.
The side effects get stronger with every treatment. The cold sensitivity is a pain in the ass- Waiting for the hot water to come out of the faucet after using the bathroom. and when you use the bathroom as much as I do- it gets ANNOYING doing that every time.
So I dunno if I've posted it before, but the chemo treatment I'm on is FOLFOX- it's the "cocktail" of drugs I get every other Monday. We've added Avastin to the cocktail and with that come more side effects, many like the side effects of other drugs- it just increases the likelieness of me HAVING those side effects or increases the side effects. uugghh. I didn't really have the nausea with the first 3 rounds in August, but it's a fixture now. SOMEHOW I still find the abitlity to eat. LOL... There's not much that keeps me from eating. Could be why I have cancer but everyone is so amazed that I don't look gaunt and sallow- instead, I am "filled out" and chunky. Then people say "oh, I think it's better if you start out that way." Don't get me wrong- I'm totally NOT offended. I promise. The truth is never offensive to me.
I was rockin' the fannypack yesterday on the way home from chemo- I had to stop by Kroger for necessities and a woman stared at the bandage on my chest with the tube running to my awesome fashion accessory on my hip. THEN she looked a few more times and went to her phone and CALLED someone about it. I heard her talking about it. LOL. I wanted to say "Why don't you just ask me about it and I will be happy to inform you."
On a previous trip to Kroger, the checkout lady (mid forties I think) simply said "Okay, I'm nosey, what's going on there?" and points to my bandage. HOW REFRESHING! Honestly. I think it made my day.
I'm putting the tube inside my shirt anymore... at least when I drop off and pick up Iris from preschool... it's a little freaky for the kids. At the same time though- I think it's good for kids to be exposed to that (but It's not my place to do it for other kids- that's up to the parents) and hope that if a kid asks his or her parent what's going on with me, that the parent will tell them. It is, after all, reality. And it's not way scary like the evening news.
So my status as of today- tired, nauseous, jittery, in general good spirits and kicking cancer's ass.

That's up for change at any given moment. :)

p.s. I start back to work next Monday... a little angst there. I will be blogging more when I go back. It's actually part of the job. MUhahahaha!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Follow Up

Saw my man today. Actually, my surgeon- but he's "The Man"- for my follow up appointment. His exact words... "The chemo seems to be working. It's still a very serious situation, but not hopeless." Yay for "not hopeless." I love his no nonsense candor. I got my stiches out so it's not QUITE as uncomfortable. My next surgery won't be until Feb, and that will be a repeat of what I just had. So onward with the chemo. (I was supposed to have chemo this past Monday but there was a little mixup and it's only been 3 weeks since surgery, so chemo actually resumes this coming Monday) Since I won't have any surgeries for a while I get to add Avastin to the chemo cocktail- which to me is a good thing. The harder I can go at it, the better. And the pain in the ass side effects are a temporary small price to pay for coming out ahead.

AND>>> As if having the rarest of Appendix Cancers wasn't enough- I had blood sent off to Colorado (I think) for genetic testing to find out exactly WHAT strain of DNA this came from so my family can have testing done on that strain to check for their possible pre-disposition for getting the same cancer... The lab called my Oncology office 3 times and said they have never seen anything like what I've got. All results were inconclusive and they were stumped. So I'm thinking they should be paying ME for the blood so they can play with it and learn.
I AM the Diamond In The Rough.
"Lucky" me. It would figure.

Regardless, my girls (and the rest of my family if I have anything to say about it) will be getting screened as soon as they turn 18. I will leave it up to them- but I will also push having an elective appendectomy. If the appendix is not there, there is little chance (though still possible) that they will get Appendix Cancer.

Grrr. I fight on.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Heart or Head.

I think I've recovered well from surgery. I get a little sore at the incision site, but staples come out on Tuesday- Yay! however, Chemo starts on Monday- boo.

I'm waxing philosophical tonight.

I called this post "Heart or Head" because sometimes I don't trust my judgement. I rarely EVER make the right decision between the two. It's not always the BEST idea to follow your head. Someone very close to me made ALL her decisions with her head and as of now she is STILL alone. But really, HOW do you know which is the best route to take?
Since time is of the essence to me anymore- because I haven't a clue how much of it I've got- it seems so crucial now that I make the right decisions. I haven't been very good at it really.
I am being obscure because it's not about the situation, it's about the compass I posess. Is it slightly off or has it been pointing North all along and my life is in the direction it is supposed to be and I'm too dumb to see it. I can't help but think there is something BIG and WONDERFUL waiting for me on the other side of a right decision.