Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sorry it's been a while.....

I've been crazy busy and my mind is a blur most days. It actually is today- yet I blog on. So please excuse me if I come off a little dumb. The first few days after chemo suck the most. The "sick" is tolerable for a while then it kinda breaks you down after a while.
The side effects get stronger with every treatment. The cold sensitivity is a pain in the ass- Waiting for the hot water to come out of the faucet after using the bathroom. and when you use the bathroom as much as I do- it gets ANNOYING doing that every time.
So I dunno if I've posted it before, but the chemo treatment I'm on is FOLFOX- it's the "cocktail" of drugs I get every other Monday. We've added Avastin to the cocktail and with that come more side effects, many like the side effects of other drugs- it just increases the likelieness of me HAVING those side effects or increases the side effects. uugghh. I didn't really have the nausea with the first 3 rounds in August, but it's a fixture now. SOMEHOW I still find the abitlity to eat. LOL... There's not much that keeps me from eating. Could be why I have cancer but everyone is so amazed that I don't look gaunt and sallow- instead, I am "filled out" and chunky. Then people say "oh, I think it's better if you start out that way." Don't get me wrong- I'm totally NOT offended. I promise. The truth is never offensive to me.
I was rockin' the fannypack yesterday on the way home from chemo- I had to stop by Kroger for necessities and a woman stared at the bandage on my chest with the tube running to my awesome fashion accessory on my hip. THEN she looked a few more times and went to her phone and CALLED someone about it. I heard her talking about it. LOL. I wanted to say "Why don't you just ask me about it and I will be happy to inform you."
On a previous trip to Kroger, the checkout lady (mid forties I think) simply said "Okay, I'm nosey, what's going on there?" and points to my bandage. HOW REFRESHING! Honestly. I think it made my day.
I'm putting the tube inside my shirt anymore... at least when I drop off and pick up Iris from preschool... it's a little freaky for the kids. At the same time though- I think it's good for kids to be exposed to that (but It's not my place to do it for other kids- that's up to the parents) and hope that if a kid asks his or her parent what's going on with me, that the parent will tell them. It is, after all, reality. And it's not way scary like the evening news.
So my status as of today- tired, nauseous, jittery, in general good spirits and kicking cancer's ass.

That's up for change at any given moment. :)

p.s. I start back to work next Monday... a little angst there. I will be blogging more when I go back. It's actually part of the job. MUhahahaha!


  1. Hello Rachel,

    I wanted to let you know about an interesting cancer blog a group of cancer patients have been working on.

    A fellow tongue cancer patient was sent home to die. There was nothing more that can be done. Cancer survivors ask him life altering questions.

    Please read: http://beyondtheglassdoor.blogspot.com

    Peace B

  2. Very interesting article and nice blog...

    Elizabeth Wilcox