Wednesday, August 18, 2010


It's late. I can't sleep so I'm watching the Golden Girls.
I've been thinking about a question I was asked yesterday. I've been asked the same question before... quite a few times actually. And people hint to it and such, but I think the out of the blue way it was asked caught me off guard.
While I was talking about the surgery and jokingly saying that while I'm on a ventilator after surgery- it will be freaky. That I may have to do charades (uh, is that how you spell it?) and someone will end up giving me a sed-a-give.(The last video I put in made me think even more.)

I was joking about that scene in Young Frankenstein- when I got THE question...

"Are you SPIRITUALLY healthy?"

Uh. What the hell?
That's kinda like asking me if I'm ready to die. At least that is how it srtikes me.
I'm not often speechless- ask anyone who's known me for more than five minutes. But THAT irked me and stopped me in my tracks. There aren't too many things I keep to myself, but that is one of them. That is between me and one other. None of your damn business, thank you very much.
I get why someone would want to ask- but most have the sense to just keep that question to themselves. Kinda like the "Do you have a colostomy bag?" question. If I want you to know- I will tell you. And there are some people who should check themselves before they go asking OTHERS that question.

I'm good with all that. And I will leave it there.

It's funny... the comments and questions I get- having cancer, and being 'terminal.' But shit. What really gives someone the set of sparkling brass balls to ask a terminal cancer patient that question?


  1. Sometimes when I have been asked stuff like your talking about I immediately think to this something that you need to know...or is it something that you WANT to know? Are you really concerned about me or do you just want some ammo to spread to others.Take the Tiger Woods situation...society as a whole could not get enough juicy details of what he did,we wanted to know everything!
    On the other hand there are times that we don't say the right things to the ones that we love the most...part of being human and realizing that we are not perfect I guess.It is much easier for me to forgive and move forwards if this is the case.

    Enjoy your trip to New York and soak it all in!

  2. It looks like the post I made about this never went through. I'm sorry that people feel like they can say anything to someone who blogs about their life. There is a blogger who survived a plane crash, burns over 80% of her body. She has an amazing attitude and spirit, although her entire face and body are very scarred by the skin grafts she has endured over 2 years. Every time she opens her posts to comments, I am amazed by how many people say truly horrible, cruel things to her. There are a lot of dumbasses in the world, empowered by anonymity. There are also several religions who maintain it their God-given duty to try to save every person they meet, and don't consider that it may be a personal question to the person they are asking. And, in my mind, you are not a terminal cancer patient. Terminal is for those who don't have a positive attitude-the mind is an amazing thing if you don't give up and keep fighting. I do believe in the power of positive thinking. And you obviously know you will beat this thing!!! I know it's really hard, but try not to let this kind of stuff get you down-you have more important stuff to think about.