Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Smooth Sailing

Round 8- a breeze. Funny what a difference 2 weeks makes. All my blood work is good. I no longer will get the Oxcilliplatin (or however it's spelled) since that's what my allergic reaction was from. I THOUGHT that they would resume it, but the Nurse Practitioner said "uh, well, we don't want to KILL you." Agreed. Kinda defeats the purpose of getting cancer... har har... I mean, getting Chemo. So, it DOES kind of suck eggs that I won't be getting the chemo that's supposed to be HELPING kill the cancer, but happy day- no more cold sensitivity or numbness in the hands, not a lot of nausea. Silver lining huh? With all the pain in the ass side effects the Oxcilliplatin gave me, I'd still rather do it to combat the cancer than NOT. But what can ya do?
The crap part- I've gained THIRTEEN POUNDS since starting chemo. WTF? The Docs said "oh, that's good." Bullshit, I say. I was fat to begin with, I could have standed to lose weight.
After watching the scale go up a little every time, I am determined to lose at least what I've gained by the end of January. Then more after that.
Another "benefit" to dumping the Oxcilliplatin- I can start jogging again. I won't have to worry about freezing. Though I WILL have to wait until my pinky toe heals. Yowza! After that- I'm gonna get on it. Dunno when I will work it into my day- but I WILL work it into my day. For now, it will be to offset the Christmas food, then after Christmas- .... diet. blech. But It's gotta be done. I will not balloon up to what I once was. I can't stand to see pictures of myself from the chins down.
So there are my goals. I will never wear a bikini again, or even a bathing suit that doesn't have a skirt on it. Maybe a tankini- the bikini for tanks. I just wanna be able to NOT be self concious about my disgusting gut. Still contemplating the tummy tuck. Why not? It will only be the 6th major surgery on my abdomen. What's another one? really. I'm not an extremely vain person- but I do want to look good to myself. And right now- that's not happening. Plus- I've gotta stop looking at pictures of myself in High School. I'll never look like that again. poo.

Enough about that- I'm feeling pretty good today actually. Got some decent sleep last night- picking up Iris from Preschool, then a much deserved nap, then picking up the Birthday girl- (Vera is 1 year old today!) and having some kind of yummy dinner. Trying to think of something good that Vera would appreciate. Though my little chubby-kins loves almost anything!

later all!


  1. Happy Birthday to Vera!
    I almost fell out of my chair when I read your "Bikini for tanks" line, that is hilarious!
    When my mom was doing chemo she never lost any weight, she kept saying: "When do I get skinny? Isn't that supposed to be the good part about cancer?"

  2. I KNOW, Right? That was the only benefit I could see from chemo side effects. Oh well, I'm learning to not expect things to EVER go as planned.
    Sometimes it's good, and sometimes not! blah.