Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I have a date... I don't think he's paying for dinner though.

I have bought the ticket and reserved the rental car.
I will be heading back to Texas on Feb 1. Screening on the 2nd, vaccine on the 7th.
Not a moment too soon I think. The pain in my abdomen is getting worse and I'm getting more and more paranoid about it. I was under the impression that Dr. Sardi had debulked quite a bit of tumor but hell- I don't know. I've been duped before. I thought I was 'good' for a while. That some down time to get a plan in place and get it started wouldn't have many drawbacks. If this pain in my abdomen is the cancer taking over then I need to get to my 'arrangements' that I've been putting off. I should do that anyway.
I am stupid paranoid about this though. It's hurting- I won't lie. I'm going through painkillers like an addict. Hey- it's the truth. I still have to function. You don't stop being a Mom because you're in pain. You might slack off a bit, but you can't just throw your hands up in the air and say "I can't be a mom today- I hurt."
So I am leaving work early to go home and lay down before the girls get home.
It's a shame that a week with such a high had to be followed by total crud. I guess at least I had that high, right? Otherwise it would have been just another week followed by total crud.

Well, here's to hoping the next 2 weeks fly by without any complications. Let's get this vaccine show on the road folks!


  1. February 7th seems so close, yet so far away! Take care of yourself and stay strong!
    You are in my thoughts!

  2. Will be very happy for you when you receive that vacine, I don't think you are paranoid at all...just concerned. Take care.....:-)Hugs

  3. I'm so sorry you're having so much pain. It's incredibly difficult to push through the day with it, and I know pain killers only help take the edge off. Your girls are so lucky to have a terrific, dedicated mom like you! Many prayers for your recovery dear Rachel.

  4. I don't know what to say, Rach! Just fight on! Like Mindy says, your girls are so lucky to have you as a mom! Will continue to pray for you!