Thursday, March 17, 2011

Iron Maiden

I got a text message tonite that told me to update my blog.

As you wish.

I honestly haven't stopped much in the last week-plus to write anything more than a status update.
When I DO stop, I fall asleep. Really.
My iron levels were low before I went to Texas and I was supposed to have an infusion on the 9th, but as soon as I got back from TX, I had a sick baby to take care of. I wonder what will happen to my kids if I die... will they actually make it to the doctor for an illness or will they just have to tough it out? Vera had a nasty cough over the weekend before heading to Dallas and on the Monday I got a call that she was running a fever. Okay... take her to the Doctor. I can't do it right now- obviously. The doc is out on Tuesdays- so instead of going to a quick care dealio, just wait until I get home. *Sarcasm off* Sheesh.
I took her to see her doc on Wednesday afternoon when we could get in. I was exhausted still... she was flat. Hacking, temperature and so on. She had pneumonia. Just a little rattle but still. :( So we stayed in bed the rest of the day. I wasn't good for much- so it helped that Vera didn't want me to leave her side- AT ALL. I was okay with that.
She got over it pretty quick. I had been dragging. Made it through the weekend but getting to work this week was tough. I couldn't really function well. It was like being nacoleptic. I couldn't hold my eyes open just sitting at the computer working. I put my head down and was listening to the radio for my next break and fell in DEEP sleep. Missing breaks and such. People probably think I'm a dirtbag- but it wasn't something I could help. Coffee didn't work... sleep was the only thing that might work and there isn't enough time in the day to get what I felt like I needed.

**Enter the next scheduled iron infusion.**

Thank God.
I was scheduled for iron on Wednesday this week and actually got there for it.
I can handle the waiting room, exam rooms and such- but the smell, feel and atmosphere of the chemo bay makes me want to buuuuhhharrrrf. Literally. I had to ask for anti-nausea meds for my IV because I'd probably have just sat there, wretching. I loathe that chemo bay. Don't get me wrong, the nurses are wonderful, but memories prevail. Come to think of it- looking at my file folder kinda makes me sick too. Just it sitting there... yep. Gross.
I got my iron and felt much better by Wednesday evening. I even got to work and stayed awake without problems this morning. Hooray.
I am scheduled for a total of 12 iron infusions. 1 a week. I'm totally okay with it if it makes me feel better. I just wish I could get it in a different room. blech.

Oh- and I thought I'd post a somewhat decent, current pic that I took in Dallas. I flew out Monday morning- got to DFW at 9:30am. Waiting in line to get my rental car I got a text from Iris' preschool teacher that said "This is Iris... I am thinking about you. I love and miss you. xoxoxox." made me wanna cry. So I sent a text, but I thought a picture would be even better. So I took a picture of myself blowing her a kiss.

The picture didn't go through, but I showed it to her when I got back and she was happy about it. So, win for me. I love my tenderhearted little girl.

So those, my friends, are my excuses for the lack of posts in the last week and some.
I apologize all over myself. (One of my favorite quotes from my Grandmother June.)


  1. You are an inspiration, I don't know how you manage to do so much. Rachel you are a wonderful mother and I know you are fighting so hard so that you will be here for your girls. Such a treasure you are, keep fighting. Always in my heart and prayers....:-)Hugs

  2. Love that endearing shot of you... and am continuing to intend that these TX shots are the miracle needed to keep you here with your darling girls... that all your good cells are getting healthy and well for the highest and best good of all concerned... so be it and SO IT IS...whooooooo! amen!