Cancer wrecks a lot. We already knew that didn't we? It can cause you to rediscover friends, to make new friends, it can also cause some friends to turn tail and run far away from you. Collateral damage is not unheard of.
What about those who can't leave? Your parents... Let's get THAT out of the way now... no parent worth ANYTHING would leave a child (no matter how old their child is) after a cancer diagnosis. What about spouses? The deeper this thing goes- it's been 2 years now- the stronger that question becomes.
Should spouses get an 'out' if their husband or wife is diagnosed with cancer? Your first reaction is "NO, Of course not!" but hear me out... What if things were rocky before? What if it's almost making existence MORE miserable to stay together? Cancer isn't like nursing a cold for a week and "Can I get you some soup from a can?" and you're done. NO. It's forever. Once you have cancer- you're forever a survivor. Whether it was a mole removed or a breast or a leg. Cancer is cancer- and it's scary as hell. Watching a loved one go through it SUCKS. It's coming up on a year since my sister's surgery to remove all her cervical cancer and it STILL bothers me to think about it. I can only imagine what goes through the minds of the people that care about me. My entire existence hinged on an experimental vaccine.
I think spouses should get a 'Get out of Jail Free' card to say "I can't handle this... I'm not cut out for it." OR "Our relationship is not strong enough to survive this."
And they shouldn't catch any shit for it. They deserve to be happy just as much as the Survivor does.
I'm wondering if my husband would like a card. He does more around the house than he's ever done in his life. He seems totally miserable and he hides things from me. He seems to distance himself. At times I think life for both of us might be easier apart.
I know my diagnosis has been hard on him and 2 years on, I don't think he has figured out how to cope with it.
No, it's not fair to those of us who HAVE to deal with it- but if friends of mine can turn tail and run, why can't a husband/wife? Cancer sucks and I think if someone wanted to and CAN get away from it they should be allowed to. Cancer shouldn't be able to screw with everybody.
That's my thoughts for the day... and yes, this is the day after a fight with the husband. I don't normally discuss my marriage here because it's been less than stellar and I know some of you personally and I don't like airing the marriage 'dirty laundry' here because it comes off like I'm badmouthing him. Plus, he'd be pissed that I even talked about it. But I know he doesn't read this.
But, this is MY blog. This is MY outlet. This is where I come to talk about what I need to talk about. And I needed to get it off my chest.