While planning for Labor Day weekend activities I started thinking about the people in my life who have faded away since diagnosis.
I found it funny, the sheer number of people who came out of the woodwork of my past, once word got around. I giggle about being the "Cancer Friend" and that some were simply being looky-loos.
It doesn't bother me. It DID. But I have gotten to the mindset that any publicity for cancer awareness is good publicity. WHO KNEW there was such thing as "Appendix Cancer?" Now more do than did 18 months ago, right? (can't they just take that out?)
I won't say I'm CRAZY about the idea of people who have REALLY done me wrong being able to just drop in and know about my situation so intimately (yep- even cancer patients have people they don't like... even before they have doctors they don't like.), but it comes with having a blog publicly accessible so others may read and actually GET something from it if they need to. I am honored that I could help educate anyone about what goes on in one person's mind when dealing with cancer. I hope someone can learn what NOT to do, what TO do when jumping through treatment hoops- what to do/what not to do when TALKING to someone with cancer and whatever else might help anyone in any position on the cancer spectrum... be it newly diagnosed, a long time survivor, a loved one or a friend that wants to reach out.
And if that means my blog is read by people I lack a fondness for in the process- so be it. I can think of a few people I don't think have a right to know about me and my situation but I am not SO bitter that I would delete a blog just so those select few couldn't read it.
I started this blog basically as a way to vent and to chronicle my experience for myself and possibly my daughters. Then it kinda turned into a reference point for those I didn't talk to on a regular basis... distant friends who wanted to stay in the loop. I started boring myself repeating the some story over and over again. I had little idea I would make friends from this. No idea that what I put out there would be found interesting at all by anyone who didn't know me personally. I keep running into people in my community who have somehow found my blog. Sometimes it's hard to believe the 2 worlds ever collide= the internet and the Mid-Ohio-Valley. It almost seems I'm better known for my blog than I am for being on the radio for the last 8 years. I get embarrassed... um, because I can cuss here, not so much on the public airwaves and a lot of people I know aren't so crazy about my colorful metaphors. When I found out that my aunt had the address for the blog published in her CHURCH'S newsletter- I almost peed my pants. WHAT?!?! Yeah- she did.
It's not like Sheboygan Dan linking here from his blog... I was thinking it would be like bringing Andrew Dice Clay in for a sermon.
Hey, I don't cuss THAT much- do I? It just happened to be right after one of my more "colorful" blogs where I was having chemo and feeling sorry for myself. Not the best time to send a congregation here.
Hm. See how this works? I totally didn't mean to go in this direction, but there it is. And thanks to chemo brain- I don't even remember what I had meant to talk about when I fired this baby up and signed in. Maybe that's a good thing.