Sorry it's been a while. But I'm sure you understand.
I've been slowly recovering. Sleeping is especially hard. Our neighbor lady made some homemade chicken and noodles soup and I think Weds, Thurs, Fri- I'd eaten about 5 noodles each day and that was it. My appetite isn't back. I'm not excited for it to be, but I'd like it to be more than what it is now. Carnation Instant Breakfast is my friend for now. I haven't weighed myself to see what I've lost. I think I'd just be disappointed.
Well, if you didn't know by now- I did not get the chemo wash. From what I understand, Dr Sardi debulked a lot of the cancer- resected a few pieces of my small intestine, took out my gall bladder, fixed a hernia and repaired my stomach which was twisted and full of adhesions from the previous pointless chemo washes. I still got sliced and diced: Pubic bone to cleavage- SEXAY! AND- I don't have a bellybutton anymore. Not like I needed one I guess. But now my stomach is Ugly AND weird as hell. I guess I can win some bar bets now though. Woot!
I was discharged on Tuesday. I was nervous as hell to leave. Cold sweats and I think I had an anxiety attack. I'm not proud. Quite ashamed actually. Look, I've dealt with an ilias or HAD an ilias or gotten one or however the hell you put it in a sentence... Before. I was NOT ready to deal with one again. I will NEVER be ready for one of those again. I was with my sister-in-law, Inga, when I left. We got a hotel room across the street from Mercy. My Dad got there around 8. The evening was and is a blur to me. I just know that poor Inga had to play nurse-maid to me as I whined and cried. She was just lucky that in between that, I was sleeping. We left around 11am. Got home around 5pm and got to see my babies around 8.
I should get my 87 staples out this week. I will *sigh* resume chemotherapy in a few weeks since the cancer is now in most of the lymph nodes in my abdomen.
Can't win 'em all, right?