..That being in a community of cancer patients that you're going to hear of too many who lose their battles. I am sad that I was not aware until THIS MORNING that Kirsten (http://cancersmancer.blogspot.com/) lost her battle with Hodgkins Lymphoma last week. R.I.P. Kirsten. You fought well.
Damn this disease. Damn it for everything it takes from us. I can't even relay to you how much I hate this disease. There are no words strong enough for it.
I had a horrible day yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night with a racing head. I get up a few times at night now to use the bathroom now because this big ass tumor is pushing on my bladder. Couldn't get back to sleep for an hour and a half. Couldn't wake up in time for work, went in an hour and a half late and couldn't even hold my eyes open when I was at work. I left in the middle of a meeting because I felt like my head was off. It's hard to describe... like I was ready to just shut completely down. Outwardly it looked like I was just tired or drunk or something, but it was a mess. As soon as dismissed myself form the meeting- I started crying hysterically and drove myself home. I am supposed to pick the girls up right after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays because my mother-in-law has 5 kids to take care of on those days (Iris being the oldest of them all). But I wasn't in any condition to go get them. I didn't even want to be on the road alone- I just needed to lay down.
My husband got the girls at around 2 and brought them home. I woke up to get things in order for Iris and to get Vera to take her nap. I went back to sleep. Iris woke me up a couple of times- but I ended up sleeping until 8pm. And could have kept sleeping if things hadn't needed done.
Who sleeps this much? I am sleeping my life away and only hearing my kids laughter in my dreams as they play with their Daddy in the other room.