It's 5am

Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 5:00am Edit Note Delete
I've been up since 3. Micki spent the night in the room with me. Have I said I still don't know if it's sunk in? It's been 2+ weeks since the onset of symptoms that sent me to the hospital. I had a colon resection where they took half of my colon and sewed my small intestine to what's left of my colon. And now Not only do I have Colon Cancer.. it's possibly stage 4 Colon Cancer, and it may be what they call "Signet Ring Cell" cancer that is considered more aggressive and very hard to treat. Basically the Doc came in yesterday and told me that most people with that type of cancer don't live more than 5 years after diagnosis.What a crock of shit. I'm going to fight with every OUNCE of me. I have 2 beautiful girls that will be my strength. I had never discounted the possibility of getting cancer- I just never thought I would be only 33 and fighting for my life. I'm just going to come out and say it... Why me? This is stupid ridiculous. Like I said before- I don't even know that I can just cry about it because it's not real to me. It's gotta hit me a some point, but I'm mad more than anything right now.I will do all that's in my power to stay here so I can be a Mommy. It's going to be a long road- but there's nothing that would make me give up for even a second.