I talked to Dr. Cawley yesterday.
My CT scan showed that the three 'tumors' (basically clumps of mucous) amongst my small intestine have shrunk slightly since May when I started the new chemo. The layer of mucous hanging out on my liver and other places, no change. OK news.
But, she doesn't think I should wait until October to have the MOAS. She thinks I should have the surgery as soon as possible. Meaning the first of August- 4 week minimum wait after Avastin. That means... No Missouri, I probably won't be present for Iris' birthday party, no New York and probably no Italy.
Honestly, I'm pissed at the world. I didn't want to go on a rant, but if I'd have had the NECESSARY surgery 1 year ago... 4 months ago- I wouldn't be dealing with this SHIT right now. Instead of doing 2 minimal surgeries and not removing the cancer. I COULD have had ONE surgery that would remove all the cancer. If I'd have just known that the surgeries weren't INTENDED to remove ALL the cancer. They don't even do the HIPEC surgery @ OSUMC. The whole time I thought they would remove all the cancer and when they came back to say "There was too much cancer to remove." I thought- "I'm screwed." The fact was: They don't do the surgery I REALLY need(ed) there. That it would be more involved. A year older and much wiser having taken the idiot path. Possibly at the cost of my life. I would like to think my surgeon did all he could do. But that doesn't take away from the fact that he more than likely has heard of the HIPEC surgery with TOTAL debulking before the chemo wash- and he didn't say that's what I need, didn't suggest other surgeons, other procedures, didn't point me in the right direction. Just said I should look into clinical trials. And the Oncologist at OSUMC didn't say shit either.
They SHOULD have realized that they were in over their heads and passed me to someone better able to TREAT ME. I don't know if it's a pride thing or an ignorance thing... Doesn't matter. I'm feeling SCREWED. It's my LIFE and they SCREWED ME! I should get a damn refund and should punch SOMEONE in the friggin' face.
If I'd have gone directly to the Cleveland Clinic or another hospital that HAS the HIPEC, I wouldn't be in this position right now, maybe I wouldn't have had to do 15 fucking rounds of chemo and have had ineffective surgeries.
I'm pissed as hell... And I've held my tongue about it, thinking I didn't want to slam on amy doctors... But this last year of 'treatment' has been a waste because I didn't know any better and the surgeon that DID was irresponsible and not forthcoming with information. Fucking around with MY LIFE is not something I'm going to be quiet about.